After my (feels like) an almost complete waste of a weekend (i don't even want to start on that), its my 'sunday' night blues, I am going insane with my job, I though i could do the whole 'call center' job, but its really hard, i am an outgoing person, even if i don't care for you i will still ask you how your weekend/day was, but i feel like at this job there honestly is no small talk, you aren't on the phone for 2 mins and they are on the walkies looking for you. They pay me good so i know deep down i need to just shut up and do it, but i'm in a dark "funk" that i feel like i can't just get over. Ryan makes good money and he's doing amazing at his job, but its not fair for me to rely on him. I'm trying to save money for us to have savings and actually go on a vacation. I got a text from my babysitter asking what days she will have Rayce this week, i told her prob just 1 and she sent me a nasty text about her needing to have him at least 2-4 days a week, which i partly understand, yet i bring Rayce at 7:55-8 til 5:10-5:20, and almost every week she asks me if he can get picked up early because one of her kids has an appt or if on a Wednesday I can find another sitter because she or one of her kids has an appt, school activity, etc. I pay you to watch my kid, I can't just leave work early or find a back up sitter on a few days notice. (** here comes to poor petty me**) I don't have my mom to fall back on like most people, Ryan's mom has been a lifesaver with helping with Rayce on weekends, but she has a life too. I work every Saturday, My dad generally works every Saturday and for the last month has been working 7 days a week. I hate relying on people to do things I should be doing. I am Rayce's mom, I need to be that person for him.
Ok.. if you actually read this, I apologize, yet thank you for being able to get through this.
2 comments:
Dont feel alone, I get that way ALL the time, likewise.. I have a mom but she lives in Cali and my dad used to babysitt too but he passed away.
If you want a pitty party, I will totally come with you :D.
Cheer up, I think its awesome you are saving up for a vacation, and you even if you dont like your job the thing that keeps me motivated is to remember that my little ones need a roof over their head, and food to eat. It literally wakes me up and puts me in the shower and when I finally realize im at work, I laugh at how silly i am.
I love you, and I stalking your blog.. Im a creepy friend lol
Thank you so much Amanda! Your just made my day! I appreciate it more then you know :D
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